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Amusing/entertaining stories from attending Armagh matches

Discussion in 'Orchard County Chat - Football' started by PatMustard, May 15, 2020.

  1. PatMustard

    PatMustard Well-Known Member

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    Anyone got any amusing tales or entertaining stories from attending Armagh games down through the years?

    Maybe you left the tickets at home, and had to drive back from the ground to get them?

    Perhaps you were denied entry because you had no trousers on? (I bet that’s happened to you @Big Jim :D)

    Maybe you met your significant other on the hill at Clones? (I don’t mean in a “what the hell are you doing here, you arse?!” kinda way).

    Come on, let’s be havin’ you...
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  2. Big Jim

    Big Jim Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm well not that exactly, but more a combination of the last bit. Long story short, couldn't get tickets for everyone for a big ish game, so decided I'd go along with a few friends to a hotel and watch the game on their big screen. Mrs wasn't too put out as I don't drink so at least no rolling home. All was fine until my mug appeared on the tele box in the crowd AT THE GAME (yep we'd got tickets and didn't say), screaming at the ref, just before we won - I'm keeping the details scant to protect the innocent like myself. Of course me didn't know any of this until about three weeks later when I awoke from the coma and the swelling had went down. Apparently it took 9 police officers to get her off me :oops: I only remember the blue lights!
  3. PatMustard

    PatMustard Well-Known Member

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    @Big Jim three weeks later? You probably missed the next game too :D

    I knew you’d have a good yarn, James.
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  4. Ard Mhacha 13

    Ard Mhacha 13 Well-Known Member

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    Where do I start :rolleyes::D

    My brother managed to knock my Dad's glasses off him from the Top Tier of the Hogan Stand to the seating on the Lower Hogan at the end of the qualifier match against Dublin in 2003 (he was fairly happy that we'd won & understandably there were flailing arms ;):)) Unbelievably they were actually handed in & he eventually got them back before leaving for home.

    At one of our regularly visited grounds of late, Cusack Park in the town that just loves us Armagh folk :rolleyes: Mullingar, after our Qualifier in 2018 I was very close to being locked in the toilets (yes of course I'm normally 1 of the last out of a ground after a win). I could hear the iron gate being pulled over & started shouting that I was still in the toilets, so thankfully for me & to the disappointment of many an Armagh supporter I did not end up spending any longer than entirely necessary in that most welcoming of grounds to our lot.

    Back in the day before the new road from Newry joining the motorway to Dublin when we were making regular trips to Croker we travelled via Carrickmacross & if we won (which we did on many on occasion back then) we stopped at the big garage/supermarket in Carrickmacross on the way home to celebrate by getting ice cream. On 1 occasion my Dad somehow managed to lock the keys in the car. My brother ended up having to get a lift home (from another Armagh supprter) to collect the spare key & came back to Carrick so we could get access to the car to drive home. For ages after that my Dad took the spare key for the car with him to matches, just in case.

    There are other stories which are very specific to our family, my poor Dad is still reminded on a regular basis of the time he was on bun buying duty for our after match dining & bought trifle sponges by mistake. In his defence he did think he was treating us to something a bit different & I suppose in a way he was right. Needless to say it was a while before he was on bun buying duty again :)

    Going to Armagh matches has always been very family orientated for us & we've had many a laugh throughout our years following Armagh & also many a very quiet journey home after a defeat. Like everyone I am missing the football in a huge way but I also really miss getting together with my Dad & brother to head off to some part of Ireland discussing all things GAA on the journey including our regular discussion on how to improve the Championship format & also the opportunity to create more memories, both happy & sad along the way but always creating these memories together.
    Last edited: May 15, 2020
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  5. Ard Mhacha 13

    Ard Mhacha 13 Well-Known Member

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    Ahhhhhh but is it factually accurate. I think a call to Mrs @Big Jim might be required. ;)
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  6. PatMustard

    PatMustard Well-Known Member

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    Ach sure have you ever known @Big Jim to tell lies?
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  7. Ard Mhacha 13

    Ard Mhacha 13 Well-Known Member

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    Hmmmmmmmmm :rolleyes:
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  8. Big Jim

    Big Jim Well-Known Member

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  9. Big Jim

    Big Jim Well-Known Member

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    Eh, now that's not really necessary.......
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  10. Big Jim

    Big Jim Well-Known Member

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    Okay ok. I give in. I read that in your memoirs!!! Sheesh. Some people can't take a spoof like they used to. It was two weeks, okay?? It was two weeks goddamn it man/woman/beast :rolleyes:
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  11. Big Jim

    Big Jim Well-Known Member

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    And as for you MATE!!!!!
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  12. PatMustard

    PatMustard Well-Known Member

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    Great stories there @Ard Mhacha 13

    The glasses one - good job the match was over. Imagine having to sit through a match not being able to properly see it!

    Was there a method in your dads madness, re: the buns? Maybe he deliberately got it wrong so he wouldn’t have to do it again? :D

    Keep enjoying the days out, when football returns. Memories are what it’s all about, happy and sad, as you say. My da brought me to matches all over the country, from I was no age. When I learned to drive, I repaid the favour. But now he’s no longer here, I miss the days out and creating those memories.
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  13. Influx

    Influx Active Member

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    So had my 77 flag on a pole, a prized possession!

    So arrived at Croker after a couple of sherbet to find that new rules meant that brush poles were not allowed in the ground.

    Feeling brave I asked a nearby garda to provide me with the legislation under which I had to separate forever my flag and pole.

    A garda minibus pulled up and he directed me towards it. I thanked him for providing me with the legislation and was on my way!
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  14. PatMustard

    PatMustard Well-Known Member

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    On your way to the match, or to Mountjoy jail?
  15. pablo

    pablo Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for this @Ard Mhacha 13 and echo sentiments expressed by @PatMustard.
    Since my Dad first brought me as a nipper to a damp and meaningless Dr McKenna cup game sometime in 1975 or 76, I have been hooked on Armagh. For most of the late 70s to late 80's, I never missed going to a game with him. Then I left the country and spent close to 20 years studying and working abroad. But always highlight of the week would be the Sunday phone call from my folks, with it ending with Dad coming on to give commentary on the latest games and updates. Priceless in the days before internet and facetime. Each Thursday in the mail, I would get the envelope from home with newspaper cuttings/reports of games from that previous weekend. This went on for years, long after internet access made it easy for me to keep up to date, because it meant so much to family and me to keep that connection and ritual. My Dad's detailing over the phone of our comeback against Fermanagh still is, one of the best pieces of storytelling I ever have heard-built up beautifully from deadpan defeatism, rising in tone over three stages to a euphoric crescendo, with the immortal words-"and of all people who did ye think the ball broke to.....? Big Grimley!!!" He didn't have to say anymore. I was on the floor.
    Dad is healthy and still follows Armagh with a passion But at an age not able to get to many games and it will be probably unlikely go to any more in future, when things resume again. Thankful for the great memories and lovely to hear others on this forum grew up with similar experiences
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  16. Influx

    Influx Active Member

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    To the match!
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  17. PatMustard

    PatMustard Well-Known Member

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    Can’t recall any amusing stories to hand, but some memories I recall.

    Returning from Clones, there was always a squad of youngsters sat on the big high fence in Smithborough waving flags and cheering at the passing traffic. Tooting the horn at them was compulsory.

    Radio Ulster, Sunday Sportsound, think it was 23 minutes to 6... strange time for a show to start. I can still remember the theme tune... The car quietened, childer were wheest’d as results were read out. Jaysus, you daren’t have breathed or you’d get a clout... Dublin beaten in Leinster, cue mouth open staring at each other without a sound... holy smokes!... Kerry Cork draw... oooh!!

    Always stopped at the same wee shop in Monaghan town, off the first roundabout. It’s us again Mrs, we’d give her that ‘do you not remember us from last summer’ look?’... jaysus I don’t think she remembers us... load up on the Cidona (couldn’t get them in the North), my da got a winning streak scratchcard, and a Cadbury’s Dairy Milk to bring home for my ma (the Southern brand tasted nicer she always says).

    We’d have the cousins with us a lot of the time, and when home, while the tae and sandwiches were served up, the match would be pulled apart and analysed. Always grateful to get a sup of tae and a sandwich as you’d be starving. Then it was outside with the ball to try and recreate what you seen that day... with each of us doing our own commentary... McAlinden kicks it out, great catch by Grimley, passes it to Houli... Houli’s through, only the keeper to beat... and it’s over the hedge, ball lost... you useless bollix, go and get that!!
  18. Armamike

    Armamike New Member

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    At the minor final in 92, a neighbour of mine was killing himself laughing at the poor design features of a hat one of us had bought - it was more red than orange. Someone then pointed out his was yellow.
    Last edited: May 22, 2020
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  19. Rufus T Firefly

    Rufus T Firefly Well-Known Member

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    I would say most Armagh fans of a certain vintage will have some stories to tell of our defeat of Fermanagh in 1993. I remember getting in to Joe McKenna's Bar ( having stayed to the end ;)) and overheard Betty McKenna finishing a phone call with, "I don't know who won - some are saying they won and some are saying they lost - a pack of liars, the lot of them!"

    A mate of mine was towards the back of Hill 16 at the 2002 Final. He told me that he could see the move for the goal unfolding in front of him. He lent forward, fag in mouth, and as Oisin hit the back of the net, the dude in front of him threw back his elbows in elation, knocking the lit fag back into his mouth. Cue pandemonium - everyone going mental at the goal and my mate trying to put out the fire in his mouth!

    Anyone ever remember the dude on the PA system in Clones, back in the noughties, who fluffed his lines.....or line!! "At least there will be two minutes of stoppage time at the end of the game!"
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  20. Big Jim

    Big Jim Well-Known Member

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    Don't remember that one Rufus, but to be fair, most of the games then had the nerves jangling that much, the noise from me old bones (yes, old even then) was deafening me and all around me!! :oops:
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